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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28841676">we make each other shine;</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarkesgrifiin/pseuds/clarkesgrifiin'>clarkesgrifiin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Wilds (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boarding School AU, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, kinda slow burn, other ships will be present!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:15:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,879</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28841676</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarkesgrifiin/pseuds/clarkesgrifiin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Who the fuck is Shelby Goodkind,” Toni asked, lugging her possibly bigger than her black duffel bag. Her uniform was crisp and well-put, it wouldn’t be long until the shirt was untucked and her pants all messed up, but Toni wanted to avoid unnecessary detentions on the first day. </p><p>“I don’t know but she could be our new friend!” Marty smiled, always trying to make the best of a bad situation.</p><p>“She sounds lame. And white.”</p><p>shoni boarding school au.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>216</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. i. like the moon and the river (toni)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>after five years away from this i’m back to terrorize you all with a new boarding school au. i binged watch the wilds in two days and fell in love with those eight girls! while this is a toni/shelby fic, it will feature all of the girls and a surprise second ship heh.</p><p> btw tw for homophobia, and internalized homophobia + underage drinking! i will add triggers for each chapter so don’t worry about that. also english is not my first language, so sorry for any mistake. + this is kind of a slow burn, kinda-enemies to friends to lovers type of fic so be warned! (or enemies to friends to enemies to lovers???)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Who the fuck is Shelby Goodkind” Toni asked, lugging her possibly bigger than her black duffel bag. Her uniform was crisp and well-put, it wouldn’t be long until the shirt was untucked and her pants all messed up, but Toni wanted to avoid unnecessary detentions on the first day. </p><p>“I don’t know but she could be our new friend!” Marty smiled, always trying to make the best of a bad situation. Toni loved her, but the last thing she needed was her positive shit so early in the morning, especially when it was kinda her fault they weren’t rooming together for the first time in six years. Toni still felt terrible about that. </p><p>“She sounds lame. And white .”</p><p>“Well, my new roommate is nice.” Marty changed the topic, not wanting to make Toni more annoyed than she already was. “Her name is Dot. Well, it’s not her full name, I don’t think. Apparently, she’s been in our class forever.”</p><p>“Huh, I don’t recall hearing about her.” It wasn’t like Toni was the most sociable girl in her whole grade, in fact most people were a bit scared to approach her, but being the former basketball team captain meant she had a ticket to most clandestine parties and she wasn't exactly unpopular , so she wasn’t a stranger to most faces in her grade. That added to the fact that she had been attending this school since she was practically still a child.</p><p>“I guess this year still has its surprises. Maybe we can finally have a group to have lunch with.” Martha said, opening the heavy wooden door. It was the first year they finally got to move up to Hall D, the biggest dorm building in the whole school. Seniors and Juniors had the privilege of bigger rooms and private bathrooms, which was a fair trade considering all the SAT and college prep they forced them to do. Even on Saturdays. </p><p>Toni shrugged as she made her way through the crowded hall. She didn’t see a problem with it just being Marty and her, as it had been for the past six years since she first saw Marty toddle into their room with her unicorn suitcase. It felt kinda nice knowing it was just them against the world, and she wasn’t really excited to change that.  </p><p>“Which one is your room again?” Marty asked, snapping Toni out of her thoughts. </p><p>“Uh…” Toni tried to balance her duffel bag as she tried to unlock her phone. “205… second floor .”</p><p>“I’m 207! We are so close.” Marty smiled brightly. “We are definitely having a sleepover once we are all settled in”. </p><p>The girls kept walking until they reached Toni’s room. Unlike most doors in the hall, hers didn’t have any decorations put up. Usually, Toni and Marty would print out their favorite memes and pictures and tape them to the door. It was mostly Marty’s doing but, hey , Toni always picked out the best memes. </p><p>To her relief, her roommate was not in the room despite having arrived already, taking the left bed, which Toni rolled her eyes at once she noticed. That was her side. It was closer to the window, so she could spend her time staring at the school underneath her, the lush green trees contrasting against the brick buildings that were older than probably headmistress Gretchen herself. Bly School was picturesque, she’ll give it that. </p><p>It took her exactly ten seconds to register all the decorations her roommate had put up. A Live Love Laugh poster sat next to an Audrey Hepburn one, all the Bath and Body Works candles and bottles, the obnoxious amount of fluffy pillows, and the worst offender: a framed white poster with the words: Smile, Jesus Loves You embroidered. </p><p>Marty stifled her laughter as Toni stared flabbergasted. </p><p>“Hell no. ”</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe she isn’t that bad, you know?” Marty said, sitting down in the grass, balancing her tray with one hand as she smoothed her skirt. She unwrapped her veggie sandwich and examined it thoroughly. The food definitely didn’t reflect the amount of money they paid to stay in this place.</p><p>“She’s a Jesus freak Marty, of course she is bad. I bet as soon as she finds out I’m gay she’s going to run to principal Gretchen, ask her to kick me out of this school, and probably get her way.” Toni opened her orange Gatorade. She knew she was being dramatic but she had her fair share of experiences with religious assholes who wanted to save her . She picked at Marty’s food, wanting to change the topic before she got even more annoyed. “Is that bacon?”</p><p>“No, those are sun-dried tomatoes. They do look weird tho.” Marty laughed and took a sip of her diet coke. Thankfully, she understood Toni so well she knew not to push her best friend further. As much as she wanted Toni to have a positive outlook, she also understood how tough growing up was for the smaller girl and how angry she could get. Marty didn’t love her despite this fact, she loved her because, knowing also how passionate Toni could get, her eyes fiery and bright, like when she was playing basketball or how she was with Regan. She just needed to redirect her energy a little . </p><p>Out of the corner of her eye, Marty spotted a girl sitting by herself. </p><p>“Hey, that’s Dot! Let’s invite her over!” </p><p>Before Toni could object, Marty was already calling the girl who just looked confused. </p><p>“Dot, hey! This is Toni, my best friend.” The girl, Dot, just shrugged and put her hand up. She looked very out of place, with her polo shirt a little too big and her pants baggy, next to the short-skirt, perfect manicure, my-daddy-is-rich girls that attended Bly School. Toni appreciated that. </p><p>“You should come sit with us! We usually sit here, as it’s just the two of us we don’t really have a table…” Marty looked to the side. They weren’t exactly popular, and while Toni didn’t mind, a side of Marty always longed for the day she wouldn’t be so invisible . </p><p>“Okay.” Dot shrugged. It wasn’t like she had any other place to sit. “Do you guys mind if I smoke?” She said, pulling a cigarette and balancing it with her teeth. Marty shook her head, not wanting to upset their new… friend .</p><p>“Well, we were talking about the fact that Toni got stuck with the new girl as her roommate.” Marty filled Dot in. Toni was sure the girl couldn’t care less, but props to Marty for trying to make her feel welcome. </p><p>“And she’s a Jesus freak,” Toni added, mouth full of Takis. “Seriously what kinda name is Shelby Goodkind, she sounds like a Dr. Seuss character.”</p><p>“Wait, shit , I know her.” </p><p>“You do?” Marty asked, surprised. “Yeah, we went to primary school together before I transferred, her family kinda owns half of our town.” Dot explained. “You know... they are Jesus freaks.”</p><p>Toni groaned. </p><p> </p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>Toni shuffled in her seat, looking at the empty one beside her. Biology lab was far from her favorite, especially this year as Marty opted out of it, choosing to do Chemistry instead, citing objection of consciousness or something like that. Toni would’ve followed if she wasn’t terrible at organic chemistry or whatever that bullshit was. Numbers and science shouldn’t mix. </p><p>“Uh, is this taken?” A soft voice snapped Toni out of her mental rant. Toni moved her bag from the chair and motioned for the other girl to sit. She recognized her immediately, Leah Rilke . Toni was sure that last year people would’ve been fighting to sit next to Leah. Before the whole… St. Jude’s teacher thing happened. Toni didn’t judge the girl, she would never, but she had to admit her reputation had taken a big hit.</p><p>“Okay students.” The teacher clapped his hands awkwardly. “Look at the person beside you, you will be working with them for the rest of the year, so spend the next few minutes trying to catch up with each other.” </p><p>Leah and Toni sat in awkward silence. A few minutes passed by before she heard Leah sigh while looking at the clock. Okay, fuck, it. </p><p>“It really sucks they make us take class the same day they have us settle in,” Toni said. “They don’t even give us a full day to get our shit together.” </p><p>Leah nodded, a bit surprised Toni had chosen to speak with her. “The teachers don’t even have anything planned.” Leah pointed at Mr. Johnson, who was sitting on his desk scrolling through his phone. </p><p>“Yeah, and I have Study Hall early tomorrow as if there was anything to study after the first day of school. ”</p><p>“Oh, I have Study Hall early tomorrow too.” Leah nodded as if she was waiting for something. Toni didn’t know her well, hell , she didn’t know Leah Rilke at all, but she could tell how shy and withdrawn the girl had become after last year’s incident. Toni was almost scared of how vacant her stare was. A part of her wanted to ask her if she was okay, but she knew better than anyone how fucking fake and unnecessary pity was. Instead, she resolved to ask her something. </p><p>“I could … we could sit together tomorrow if you want to?” Toni shrugged.</p><p>“Sure.” Leah gave the smaller girl a tiny smile. </p><p>“Invitation extends to lunch too,” Toni said. This time Leah’s smile was just a hint bigger, more genuine, grateful . </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Toni groaned as she dragged her backpack to the second floor of the dorms. She had no right to be this tired, they didn’t do much in class other than icebreakers and going over the program, but still, she wanted to hibernate for a million years. Wake her up when robots could go to school for her. But, she did promise Marty that they would watch a movie today and the other girl was probably already waiting for Toni.  </p><p>Toni heard laughter coming from her dorm. A heavy Texan accent spoke. </p><p>“Seriously, you have the prettiest eyes. Any boy would be lucky to have you.” Toni rolled her eyes before opening the door. </p><p>“Toni!” Marty smiled from Toni’s bed, before turning a bit sheepish. “I was waiting for you, your roommate-“</p><p>“Shelby Goodkind.” The blonde girl extended her arm, a big smile plastered on her face. Toni looked at her roommate. She looked exactly like she imagined. Pretty in a pageant, too-perfect way. Her eyes flicked down to her neck, staring at the golden cross for a beat too long. </p><p>“Toni,” Marty whispered, snapping her from her thoughts. </p><p>“Uh, I’m Toni.” She shook her arm, not returning the smile. </p><p>“Well, Toni , nice to meet you.” Shelby stared at her up and down, stopping at her pants, frowning a little. Toni knew that stare, given to her by foster parents when she chose her old basketball shorts over the new dresses they bought her. </p><p>“Problem?” She asked, a bit hostile. </p><p>“Uh.” Shelby paled slightly. “I didn’t know girls could wear pants.” </p><p>“Well, this is the twenty-first century. I don’t know how they do stuff in White Town U.S.A but-“ </p><p>“I meant, as part of the uniform,” Shelby said, her voice higher and accent thicker. She smoothed her own skirt, which rested just an inch above the regulated length. </p><p>Before Toni could reply, Marty butted in, sensing the tension. “I invited Shelby to have lunch with us tomorrow, as she doesn’t know anyone.” </p><p>“Martha here was so kind as to promise a tour of the school.” </p><p>“ Marty , you can call me Marty.” Toni’s blood boiled. That was her special nickname for Martha, coined by her when they were children sharing secrets after curfew. It was their thing. She felt her fists curl and her jaw tighten. </p><p>“Well, I have to get going. I still have to finish my schedule.” Shelby either didn’t notice or choose to ignore Toni’s shift in mood, plastering a big perfect smile on her face. “It was nice meeting y’all .”</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>For the first time in her life, Toni wished the bell would ring faster so she could end this torture. Math class was suddenly looking extremely interesting , at least more than the awkward mess her lunch had become. </p><p>And Shelby hadn’t even arrived. </p><p>Leah sat quietly staring at her hands. Dot just fiddled with her cigarette. Marty looked at Toni, hoping the smaller girl would just say or do something other than play with the blades of grass they were sitting on. Toni knew it was a bad idea to invite new people over to have lunch with them. Marty and her already had their thing, their jokes, their everything , and other people would just ruin that or leave and hurt Marty or even her and-</p><p>“Hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” Toni suppressed a groan as soon as she heard that frustrating Texan accent. </p><p>“Guys, this is-” Marty started.</p><p>“Shelby Goodkind.” She smiled at Dot and Leah, pronouncing her last name carefully, carrying it with pride and care. </p><p>“Dot.” </p><p>“Leah… Rilke” </p><p>“Well, I’m sure you’re having a lovely picnic but I saw a bunch of empty tables on my way here. Shouldn’t we move to one?” She pointed at the cafeteria. </p><p>Marty perked up. As it had always been Toni and her, they’ve never really had an excuse to find an actual table to sit at, always choosing to eat outside by themselves. Toni liked it, how quiet and alone it was in comparison to the busy inside. She had a few offers from the basketball team to join their table, and later from Regan’s friends when they were dating, but she would always choose to sit under the old oak tree. </p><p>She had to remind herself how much this meant for Marty to keep herself from exploding. </p><p>“Well, let’s go!” Shelby said, helping Marty and Leah up. </p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>The cafeteria was busy as always. Girls were sitting in their own little groups, sharing their getaway memories to tropical islands and the expensive cars they got as Christmas gifts, or whatever it was those girls talked about. As a scholarship student, Toni knew she wasn’t like them. Not even like Leah or Dot, or even Marty, whose mother’s position in this school got her a free spot. She sighed.</p><p>“That table is free”, Shelby pointed. She led the way, her ponytail bouncing up and down as she walked. It was so annoying. </p><p>Toni noticed how Leah ducked her head down as they walked by Fatin’s table. Last year those girls were attached by the hip, and Toni couldn't help but wonder if Fatin had judged Leah like all those other girls had. She felt a protective anger bubble up in her chest, but quickly decided it was none of her business. </p><p>The girls all settled quickly. Marty was trying to hide her excitement, and Toni had to remind herself this was all worth it just to see her best friend smile. </p><p>Shelby clapped her hands. “Well, as we don't really know each other, what if I propose a little icebreaker-”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure this is my table.” </p><p>“Rachel...”</p><p>Toni stared at the girl standing in front of her, arms crossed. Rachel Reid, captain of the diving team. And her sister Nora, always a step behind. </p><p>“Last time I checked, tables don't have names on them, Reid,” Toni stated. “Plus, shouldn't you be sitting with the diving team?”</p><p>Rachel soured, her jaw tightening. “That's none of your business Shalifoe. I sat here yesterday, it's my table. You know how things work around here.” </p><p>“Rachel… we can find another table,” Nora said quietly. Always the peacemaker. </p><p>“Well, there's plenty space up here for all,” Shelby said, giving them her classic infuriatingly big smile. “You're welcome to sit.” </p><p>“Who's this ?” Rachel frowned. “ Whatever.” She grabbed a chair and sat down, purposely leaving a space between her and the girls. Nora later occupied that space, giving them all a very shy smile.</p><p>Conversation picked up with one of Shelby’s icebreaker games. Toni was surprised when Nora joined in, later followed by a reluctant Rachel. They joked around, mostly at Shelby’s expense, who apparently was still a virgin. Toni learned Dot could finish milkshakes in one go without getting an ice freeze, and that Nora knew practically everything about well... everything. Even Leah was participating and laughing, admitting she had written The Hunger Games fanfiction before. Marty was delighted, and for Toni, that was the most important thing in the world. Lunch went by quickly, and hell she would never admit it but she had a good time.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe sharing a table wasn't that bad. Maybe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope u enjoyed &lt;3 general and chapter title comes from red velvet psycho (translated obvs). i will leave u guys a new song per chapter! </p><p>leah is kinda in the depressive episode she was at the start of the series (well, at least that's my headcanon, as someone that suffers from mental illness i kinda really relate to her huh), and it hurts my heart to see that baby sad. fatin will appear + we will get hers and leah's side of the story soon, so don't worry about it! i would never leave my baby fatin out.  </p><p>pls if u liked it leave a review! it really truly makes my day.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ii. all i do is try try try (shelby)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>shelby tries to adjust to bly school.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>big tw for homophobia and internalized homophobia :/ also becca isn’t dead she just stopped talking to shelby after what she said. also if i switch their backstories a little, it’s to fit the story! this chapter is more of a shelby exploration and not quite plot-driven, but it’s very important + lots of their backstories are hinted at or revealed!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shelby tried to smile at herself in the mirror. It was a brand new day, the sun was shining, she was blessed. She was lucky her parents loved her enough to send her to a good school that would improve her college chances, even if her father couldn't quite look at her in the eye and her mother ducked her head every time she walked by. She was going to make things right, she was going to make them proud again. </p>
<p>Shelby’s smile faltered as her trembling hands couldn't quite close the clasp on her cross necklace. She knew this was the last straw she had before her father sent her someplace worse, those summer camps kids at her church got sent to, later to receive therapy with her dad. She could barely convince him that it was all Becca’s fault, that she would never, that she <em> wasn't like that. </em> And she really wasn't, it was just a fleeting impulse, a passing curiosity. She had a boyfriend, and she loved him with all of her heart. She liked holding hands with him, and he respected her decision to wait until marriage. They were the perfect couple. Even if she was <em> kinda </em>ignoring his texts right now. </p>
<p>She put the necklace on and exited the bathroom, noticing her roommate was still asleep. They still had an hour until breakfast opened, and two until it was time to go to class, but Shelby had always been an early riser. Her roommate clearly wasn't. </p>
<p>Shelby couldn't help but stare at Toni. Her face looked so relaxed and calm, a big contrast to the always angry girl she had met a few days ago. Her mouth was slightly open, and she looked so small and fragile, occupying only half of the bed. Her hair was unkempt and all over the place, and Shelby almost wanted to reach out and run her fingers through it. Toni shifted positions and Shelby averted her gaze, not wanting to be caught staring in case the smaller girl woke up. </p>
<p>She put her shoes on and walked out of the room, hastily grabbing her bag on the way. Maybe she could get started on some homework, or finally, get caught up with that book her mother told her to read. Just a few months ago she would be getting ready to meet Becca before school, enjoying a few moments together before Andrew picked them up. She wondered what the girl was doing now. A part of Shelby wanted Becca to find new friends, people that accepted her and didn’t judge her rocky past. But a more honest part hoped Becca hadn’t replaced her. </p>
<p>Bly School was beautiful in the mornings. It was beautiful <em> always </em>, but mornings had a special quiet Shelby really appreciated. It reminded her of afternoons spent in the forest, quiet next to her dad, waiting for that first hunt of the season. Shelby never really loved the actual act of hunting, she still flinched after each shot, but she loved what it meant. It meant making her father proud. It meant she was brave and strong.</p>
<p>A rush of cold wind blew generously, causing Shelby to shiver despite the fact that she was wearing a cardigan. </p>
<p>“It took me a while to get used to it too,” Shelby turned around to see a familiar figure leaning against a tree, lighting a cigarette. “Texas heat got nothing on these winds.” </p>
<p>“You know that’s a death stick, <em> right </em>?” Shelby said with a smile, always appreciative of the banter she had with Dot. It was nice seeing a semi-familiar face around here. Even if they weren’t quite friends, Dot was like a piece of home. And she really needed that right now. </p>
<p>“Well, carpe diem or whatever”. Dot said, raising her cigarette. “We are all gonna die eventually,”</p>
<p>“I’d rather die with all of my lungs, thank you,” Shelby tried to tread lightly, knowing the topic of death could be a touchy subject for Dot, having lost her father when they were only thirteen. Apparently, he had saved a big sum of money for Dot’s secondary and further education, making sure his little girl could go to the best school and college. Shelby remembered him fondly, he was the coach of their elementary school soccer team, and he was always ready with big smiles and corny jokes that made them all laugh as they wiped ice-cream off their faces. She was sure they never won a championship, but he cheered loudly every game. Thankfully, Dot didn’t seem to think much of it. </p>
<p>“Hey! I will have my lungs. They’ll just match <em> my soul </em>!” </p>
<p>“Oh my God, Dot,” Shelby said, trying not to laugh. </p>
<p>Dot checked her phone, putting out her cigarette as she unblocked it. “Leah is gonna meet us for breakfast, the others will join later.” </p>
<p>Shelby’s eyebrows furrowed. Were they in a group chat, <em> without her </em> ? Last time she checked, back home, people were fighting to be her friend. People smiled at her when she walked down the hallways with Andrew, inviting her to hangouts and barbeques and youth retreats. Shelby was good at keeping people happy, at making friends. She knew which length to wear her skirt, <em> short enough to not be a prude but long enough not to be called any names </em>, which way to style her hair, and to always keep her nails done and pageant ready. She knew which parts of her face she had to highlight with makeup, and which ones she had to hide with concealer. She had all the right party games and was good at keeping one or two beers down. She knew how to kiss Andrew, even if her mind wandered, and how to give him everything he needed so he wouldn’t dare ask for more.</p>
<p>But none of that mattered here in Bly School, where she was struggling to fit in with her new group, who apparently couldn’t even add her to their group chat. </p>
<p>“Let’s go,” Shelby said, giving Dot a smile that couldn’t quite reach her eyes. </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>The pair walked together in silence until they reached an old brick building. Leah was sitting on the steps, reading a book she quickly stuffed in her backpack as she saw Shelby and Dot arrive. The group exchanged their greetings as Leah stood up, adjusting her skirt. </p>
<p>“They just opened up, let's grab our breakfast before all the vanilla cups are gone.” </p>
<p>“Oh God, <em> yes.” </em> Dot turned to Shelby. “Here in Bly, vanilla yogurt cups are so scarce they can be used <em> as currency </em>. I really wanna score some good energy bars too. The chocolate kind.” </p>
<p>“Let’s go quickly then,” Shelby said, following both girls into the cafeteria. As they stood in line, she couldn't help but stare at all the breakfast options displayed in front of them. She felt uneasy as Dot and Leah grabbed yogurt cups and sugary treats, knowing her father would never approve of such an unhealthy breakfast. But he wasn't <em> here </em>. Shelby started to reach for some Chocopuffs, the kind she could only eat when she stayed over at Becca’s for a sleepover or when her parents were away on a retreat and she could indulge with her siblings. </p>
<p>“Shelby-” Dot called, trying to bring the blonde girl’s attention to the line forming behind her. Shelby put the cereal down, shooting the girls behind an apologetic smile before proceeding to stock her plate with fruit. </p>
<p><em> It was the healthiest option anyway. </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Toni Shalifoe could gulf down impressive amounts of food. She was currently trying to finish a stack of pancakes drizzled in syrup, a yogurt cup, a chocolate milk carton, and a cup of fruit. <em> And </em> she was stealing food from Martha's plate. Shelby almost envied how much the smaller girl could eat without losing her slender physique, and she <em> definitely </em>envied how careless she was about it all. </p>
<p>Shelby picked at her own fruit, trying to tune in on the conversation the group was having. Toni was telling them a convoluted story about that time she peed on her hand and threw it at another girl, eliciting laughter from the rest of the group. Even Rachel chuckled, rolling her eyes at Toni. </p>
<p>“I swear that <em> bitch </em> kept fouling me for no reason!” </p>
<p>“Keeping your cool is part of an athlete’s job, Shalifoe.” Rachel said, taking a careful bite from her apple. </p>
<p>“Don’t come at <em> me </em> with that!” Toni said, stabbing her stack of pancakes. “You don't have to deal with others out there, just you on that board thing.” </p>
<p>If Rachel looked a bit uncomfortable after Toni’s comment no one noticed, except for Nora who always kept a careful eye over her twin sister. </p>
<p>“You have never been in the diving team’s locker room,” Nora added, trying to make up for her sister’s silence. “It gets pretty <em> rough </em>. Athletes can be mean.” </p>
<p>Toni agreed, telling them all the story of her first out of state meet, and how a much taller girl tried to push her against the lockers to intimidate her. Martha added her commentary, letting them all know how <em> pissed </em>Toni was and how her whole team had to hold her back from fighting a battle she was clearly gonna lose. </p>
<p>“I could’ve gotten her!” </p>
<p>“Yeah <em> right. </em>She was twice her size.”</p>
<p>Toni scoffed, playfully arguing with Martha. Shelby tuned out as she stared at the smaller girl in front of her. As she was speaking, Shelby couldn't help but compare her to the sleeping girl she saw this morning, nestled against her comforter, a few stray hairs softly framing her face. She had looked so peaceful, so quiet and frail, Shelby had almost forgotten the truth that was so clearly displayed in front of her now: Toni Shalifoe was raging fire. </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>The girls picked up their trays, clearing their table quickly as they all rushed to their classes. Shelby had English with Martha and Leah first period, and then she had World History before she could take a break. </p>
<p>“Hey, Shelby,” Martha said, handing the blonde girl her phone. “We kinda created a group chat last night and, <em> well </em> , we all realized we don't have your phone number. Toni was supposed to ask but you were asleep when she arrived and <em> yeah </em>.” </p>
<p>Oh. <em> Oh. </em>So they did want her after all. Shelby felt a genuine smile sneak up her lips as she took Marty's phone. “Here. Now you will have my phone in hand whenever you want to visit Texas.” </p>
<p>“Would you invite me?” </p>
<p>“Yes! We have a huge guest room and my dad’s brother has a huge ranch we can stay in. We can ride horses and pet cows too. The city is also very fun.” </p>
<p>“I love animals! I have a rabbit you know. I miss her to pieces.” Martha returned Shelby's smile, looking at the blonde girl adoringly. Marty quickly realized Leah was also standing there, playing with the threads on her sweater, trying to discreetly stare at a table ahead of them. Shelby followed her line of sight, only to see her staring at a brunette girl. </p>
<p>“Leah?” Marty asked, snapping the taller girl from her thoughts. “Should we go?” </p>
<p>“<em> Sure.” </em> She quickly said her voice just a bit above a whisper. Shelby frowned, she wasn't sure this attitude was part of Leah’s typical personality, not that she knew her well, and she was starting to get worried. She didn't want to ask Dot or Rachel, and she was definitely not going to try asking Toni, but maybe Martha could tell her what was going on. <em> Especially </em> with that brunette girl. Shelby noticed she was pretty in a way all girls were, and all guys <em> weren't </em> , and her mind instantly traveled someplace she had buried deep inside of her. Was <em> Leah… </em> had she dated that girl? Shelby recognized that longing stare, she had mirrored it a few times before catching herself, shutting those feelings down before they could become something tangible, burrowing them deep inside her mind. </p>
<p>She swallowed before shaking her thoughts. It was none of her business anyway. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you so much for 100 kudos on the first chapter &lt;3 i really hope you enjoy this one, i wasn't quite sure if it was ready to post but i really wanted to get it out there before we can plunge in more plot-heavy chapters. thank you so so much for reading!</p>
<p>the chapter title comes from mirrorball by taylor swift, a song i 100% see shelby relating to.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. iii. little star, and now they know; (toni)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>toni wakes up to a surprise. leah and toni have a heart-to-heart. tw for slut-shaming (?)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Toni was a light sleeper. Years of moving around, adapting to new environments that weren't always the nicest or most comfortable, gave her the ability to fall asleep quickly and superficially. Not even when she was asleep next to Marty, her safe place, sleep came easily, waking up every time a car passed by too loudly or a dog barked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That's why she, in the middle of a really good dream starring a</span>
  <em>
    <span> certain ex</span>
  </em>
  <span>, was naturally pissed when her roommate decided seven in the morning was just a </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal </span>
  </em>
  <span>hour to wake her up by shuffling around her closet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Could she be </span>
  <em>
    <span>more annoying? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Toni, um, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Toni</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was seven a.m on a Friday, and they had agreed to meet later for breakfast. At a decent time. Toni pretended she couldn't hear her, not daring to open her eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Toni,” Shelby said more firmly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni’s eyes flew open, ready to chew the other girl out for interrupting her sleep, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>her dream</span>
  </em>
  <span>, even if she would never admit to the latter. Every aggression she planned on delivering to the blonde girl was drowned when Toni quickly realized the state of </span>
  <em>
    <span>undress</span>
  </em>
  <span> her roommate was in. She was standing shirtless, wearing a navy blue bra. Her arms were crossed, pushing her breasts up, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>was that a piercing?</span>
  </em>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni’s brain short-circuited. Shelby was attractive, </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Annoying, possibly homophobic, and stereotypically white, but stupidly attractive. After all, Toni had eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you wearing?” Toni huffed, deciding anything was better than silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, see.” She gave Toni one of her pageant smiles that didn't quite reach her eyes. It seemed rehearsed as if she had practiced it a million times in front of a mirror. “I forgot I had to do laundry, and I only have a number of shirts and-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Shelby you can take one of mine.” Toni just wanted this to get over with, shutting her eyes again, trying to get rid of the image of a very shirtless Shelby. She really hoped she wasn't blushing, and if she was, she really hoped Shelby didn't notice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Shelby said, quickly buttoning Toni’s shirt up. It was smaller than hers, fitting her a bit snuggly, but anything was better than showing up to class in her bra. “I’m still not used to this, boarding school thing.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni hummed. If she had a bit more energy, she would insult Shelby’s privileged ass for forgetting to do laundry. She had been washing her own clothes since she was eight, pressing every button on the washing machine until it magically worked. But Shelby was gone quickly, and Toni’s thoughts weren't fully formed before she had something resting on her stomach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes Toni wondered how Shelby ended up in Bly School. Her life seemed perfect back in Texas, perfect boyfriend, straight A’s, pageant queen, close-knit family. The blonde girl had explained how her parents wanted her to get a better shot at a good college, and how her whole pageant mileage could be seen as anti-feminist or </span>
  <em>
    <span>whatever</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But still, there was something weird about transferring in your junior year to the middle of nowhere, especially when Shelby seemed to have so much waiting for her back home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Home</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The concept was so foreign to Toni, so out of reach and even </span>
  <em>
    <span>surreal</span>
  </em>
  <span>, having spent too many nights as a child wishing for her mom to get better, for her dad to appear, for something, anything, to happen. And still, the idea was constantly dangled in front of her, settling as jealousy and anger in the pit of her stomach whenever the girls at school video called their parents or opened carefully packaged parcels, or when Martha received a warm kiss from her mother those days she felt too sick to attend class. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni decided to stop her thoughts before they spiraled into something else, pushing herself up from the bed. She was already awake, so she might as well get ready. Maybe she could score some yogurt cups before the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hungry vultures </span>
  </em>
  <span>she was forced to call classmates swallowed them all. Including Dot and Leah, who last breakfast refused to share despite the fact they had two yogurt cups each. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck their greedy little asses. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Breakfast went by relatively easily. Toni got a bunch of food Rachel always rolled her eyes at while Dot and Leah copied Nora’s math homework, fighting over who got to sit next to her next class. Shelby and Martha chatted away about horses or something, planning trips to their hometowns that would probably never happen, promising to write to each other while they were away for winter break. Surprisingly, the seven of them had fallen into an unspoken unlikely routine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt mostly </span>
  <em>
    <span>nice. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not that she would ever admit that, and she was sure none of the girls other than Marty would either. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, she couldn’t help but feel nostalgic for the moments where it was just Martha and her sitting on the grass, knees pressed together as they picked at each other’s food. For the longest time, it was just Marty and her against the world. And now she had to share her best friend with a blonde, Christian, Texan with an annoying ponytail who would probably ditch them for the </span>
  <em>
    <span>celibacy club</span>
  </em>
  <span> once she had the chance. Toni couldn’t even begin to tame the ugly jealousy that roared in her stomach when Martha chose to sit next to Shelby that morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to try, for Marty, whose smile would lit up every time Shelby so much as </span>
  <em>
    <span>looked </span>
  </em>
  <span>at her. She wanted to, but she knew eventually the fire inside would burn through her lungs until all she could see was white blinding rage. She was like birchbark, Reagan had once said, and so much as a tiny spark could light her up in flames. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was the reason she had loved her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was the reason they broke up</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni hadn’t noticed she had barely talked or touched her food until Dot nudged her, waving a piece of paper in front of her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you need to copy Nora’s homework too? Leah and I are done.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh... sure. Thanks.” Toni took the paper, frowning slightly as she tried to take in all the numbers written on it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck math</span>
  </em>
  <span> and whoever had invented quadratic equations. If they ever got quizzed on this, she was so screwed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I need to copy it too,” Shelby said, standing up. “Dot, let’s switch places.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lord, I never thought Goodkind would be a homework copier too,” Rachel noted. Shelby’s cheeks reddened slightly as she ducked her head down, looking like a bashful child caught doing something wrong. It lasted a few seconds until she picked herself up quickly, sighing before she rolled her eyes at the twin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, Rachel.” She reprimanded, moving to sit next to Toni. “I had no time yesterday, as I spent my whole afternoon on facetime with Andrew, </span>
  <em>
    <span>my boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She enunciated that last word as it meant something special, a badge she got to wear around and boast proudly. She always found ways to sneak in the fact that she had a boyfriend, and that he was so perfect and so sweet, and how much her parents loved him, and how popular he was or </span>
  <em>
    <span>whatever.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni was starting to find that Andrew dude so annoying, and she didn’t even know him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby’s arm brushed her’s lightly as they both leaned over to copy Nora’s homework. Normally Toni would ignore the contact, even recoil from it considering it was Shelby of all people, but she couldn’t help but feel slightly tingly, her stomach tightening as their arms pressed together. Toni swallowed thickly, shuffling her body awkwardly as to put more distance between them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni would be lying if she didn’t admit the image of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very shirtless </span>
  </em>
  <span>Shelby had replayed a few times on her mind that morning. She was a human, after all, and as much as it hurt to admit it, Shelby wasn’t exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad looking. Plus, to her defense, it had been a long time since she had stared at another pair of boobs that weren’t her own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni mentally retched at the fact that she had even entertained the idea of finding Shelby Goodkind attractive. She isn’t even her type, not close. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Toni drummed her fingers on the table as she waited for Biology class to start. As girls poured into the classroom, taking their assigned seats swiftly, the one next to her remained jarringly empty. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t even filled when the second warning bell rang, or when Mr. Sharma passed the attendance list, or even when he handed out their first biology lab assignment. Toni was starting to get concerned. She told herself it was the fact they needed to work together to pass this grade, but deep inside she was starting to feel for the taller girl. She had seen Leah at breakfast that morning and she seemed fine, well as </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine </span>
  </em>
  <span>as Leah Rilke can be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the past couple of weeks, she had seen Leah come out of her shell slowly but surely, or rather come back to who she used to be last year before the whole Jeff thing happened. Toni didn’t know much about her back then, other than the fact that she was Fatin Jadmani’s best friend and how, despite her shyer nature, that somehow awarded her a spot at the popular kid’s table. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeff was everyone's favorite teacher at St. Judes, coming over to Bly School to teach them literature seminars and boast about his latest literary achievements. Toni always found it incredibly boring, falling asleep on Marty’s shoulder as soon as that pretentious ass opened his mouth. She never pried about how or when it happened, it wasn’t her place to ask and frankly she wanted to know nothing about it, but somehow along the way Leah and Jeff started a… </span>
  <em>
    <span>relationship</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Toni wasn’t sure if it even deserved to be called that. Then rumors flew around, getting Jeff kicked out and Leah shunned by basically </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fuck them. In which world did that creepy-ass teacher deserve more pity than the seventeen-year-old girl he was taking advantage of? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni raised her arm swiftly. She wasn’t going to pay attention anyway, and biology lab was pointless without a lab partner. She needed to find Leah. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Miss Shalifoe?” Mr. Sharma asked after a deep sigh. Okay, Toni wasn’t huge with teachers. But to her defense, she wasn’t exactly a fan of them either. They had a beautiful relationship based on hatred and mutual distrust. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I go to the nurse's office?” Mr. Sharma raised his eyebrows in disbelief. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Miss Shalifoe, class started a few minutes ago. You should’ve gone before the bell.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… just got my period. Like </span>
  <em>
    <span>right now.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Students snickered as Mr. Sharma’s face went beet red. He handed Toni the hall pass without making any further comments, continuing the lesson swiftly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni rolled her eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Male teachers were so fucking clueless.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Toni sighed, trying to figure out where the hell Leah could be hiding. They couldn’t leave campus on most school days, so unless Leah had snuck around, she should be someplace inside. Dorms were out of the question too, as they got checked every morning by their annoying kiss-ass resident assistant. Marty had wanted to apply for the position last year, alleging she could meet lots of people, make new friends and serve the school. Toni made her swear she wouldn’t, knowing that would knock their social status even further. It wasn’t like she cared about that, she just wanted to be left alone until they graduated. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni tried to think. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If she was an artistic heartbroken hipster</span>
  </em>
  <span> where the hell would she tuck away? She racked her brain until she came up with a possible answer. The library had many hidden places, she knew then ‘cause Regan and she had made out in all of them, and she wouldn’t put it past Leah to choose the library as her quiet place. Also, the library ladies tended to mind their own business, leaving everyone pretty much alone as long as they made no loud noises.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finding Leah was quite easy. Bly School had a huge library with books older than the school itself and rows and rows of shelves which ranged from historic fiction to cookbooks to movies no one ever rents out. Other than the aforementioned activities Toni had </span>
  <em>
    <span>conducted </span>
  </em>
  <span>with Regan on the place, which she would be lying if she didn’t admit she missed, she had never had a proper reason to step inside the library. Still, she knew Leah was probably in the secluded poetry section reading something depressing like Poe or Keats. Toni had to thank whichever higher power had invented Sparknotes, or she would’ve failed that English poetry module. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah’s knees were tucked underneath her chin, making her appear small and fragile. She was thumbing absentmindedly through a book, the motion calming and reassuring underneath her fingertips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Toni offered, sitting next to the taller girl. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah looked up, quickly turning the book around to hide the cover, only to be met with a picture of Jeff on the back smiling in a fake but charming way, showing the world how </span>
  <em>
    <span>contemporary </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>mysterious </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What a fucking asshole.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah looked at Toni, waiting for her to say something, to judge her like her friends had, to call her a slut like the boy’s at St. Jude’s, to whisper rumors and words that would spin in her mind when she tried to fall asleep. And the worst part was that it was all background noise compared to the heartbreak of being left behind by the only person she had ever dared to love. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t judge, Leah,” Toni promised reassuringly. Her face softened in a way it only did around Marty, letting the other girl know she was fully there for her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They sat in silence for a few moments before Leah spoke, surprising Toni. It wasn't like Toni was expecting a heart to heart, she had only wanted to reassure Leah and make sure she was okay. Toni knew she wasn't exactly the mushy type, like her, she mostly kept her feelings hermetically sealed, only letting them out in her writing and artistic stuff while Toni… well, she had </span>
  <em>
    <span>basketball </span>
  </em>
  <span>and… randomly punching stuff sometimes. Which fucking worked for her so, to each their own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>lied</span>
  </em>
  <span> to him.” Leah started, extending her legs. She smoothed her skirt repeatedly, avoiding Toni’s worried gaze. “Everyone says it's my fault and they are </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I told him I was about to turn eighteen. He believed me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> took advantage of you-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I still love him.” Leah interrupted, not wanting to hear the rest. Toni wanted to tell her a lot of things, how an almost eighteen-year-old was still a seventeen-year-old, how that guy probably preyed on teenage girls, that it wasn't her fault at all. But Leah wasn't ready to hear that, and the last thing Toni wanted was to alienate the other girl. So she settled for a reassuring small smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Despite everything that happened, is it crazy that I would do it all over again?” Leah continued “I would lose my friends all over again, have everyone hate me and call me names, just to talk to him again. He blocked my number, you know.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All your friends are assholes,” Toni commented aggressively. Leah’s gaze met hers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not all of them.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni knew exactly who she was referring to, remembering the longing gazes shared across the cafeteria. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She tried to warn me. As soon as she found out, she tried to warm me.” Leah’s voice broke. “And I pushed her away. And even after we broke up, she tried to talk and… I just thought she was going to keep repeating how </span>
  <em>
    <span>she told me so</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So I told her to leave me alone. And she did.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She must hate me now,” Leah whispered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni wasn't the greatest at giving advice, it wasn't like Marty and she had that many situations that needed patching, and whenever they did, Martha told her she could be too harsh, and that she should work on being less direct. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can always try talking to her?” Toni offered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She was trying her best. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Leah looked unconvinced. “I mean… before lunch? You could tell her to sit with us and I swear if she pulls anything I'll kill her.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leach chuckled at that, her gaze shifted fondly as her lips started to curl slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm being serious! It's a group setting so no chance for awkwardness plus, I’ll have my fists ready. I'm pretty sure Rachel would too.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god, Rachel.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And Dot!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah laughed genuinely, picturing all of her friends up in arms ready to strike. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She reached out for Toni’s arm, a gesture that surprised them both. It was conducted awkwardly and hestitanly but full of gratitude. “I'll think about it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their usual seven-person lunch had a new addition the next day, and Fatin quickly adapted to the dynamics the group had built seamlessly, teasing Shelby endlessly, listening to Marty’s stories, and even copying Nora’s homework. She sat next to Leah, and while that made Toni’s stomach burn with a sense of protectiveness for the other girl, her fists remained criminally underused. Dot really seemed to like their new addition, teasing Fatin for her sweaters that definitely caused her a few uniform infractions, receiving witty responses that made her grin and nod. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leah had thanked Toni once the meal was over, apparently, Fatin was just glad Leah talked to her again, agreeing to sit with her new group as long as the other girl didn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>freak out</span>
  </em>
  <span> on her again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni looked at their messy table, full of wrappers, food, and papers, and smiled on the inside. She wouldn't be caught dead admitting it or anything fucking corny, but she was starting to like these girls in a weird hard to articulate way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone laughed at something, and Toni couldn't help but laugh along, catching Shelby's eyes on the other side of the table, staring directly at hers. Her smile faltered and Shelby looked down, blushing slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni knew then that the inevitable was going to happen soon, as it did every time something just a tiny bit good slipped into her life. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everything was about to go to shit. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HIYA! im back cause i was very very sick, and medicine wasn't working but now i'm so so better and i managed to write the longest chapter yet woo!!! next chapter is where everything starts to pick up even faster so stay tuned! i'll try working on it swiftly, but i can't promise anything. ily guys and i really love the support you give me, it means the world. i love reading your comments &lt;3</p>
<p>title from little star by stina nordenstam, a song i can see leah liking.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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